Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
