What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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