if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
