Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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