wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize