Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize