I'm really into asian looking animals
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
