Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
