I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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