i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize