literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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