If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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