I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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