Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
it glows. i had to have it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
