...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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