Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
bring money and cleavage
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
