He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
