I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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