Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
