pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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