Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
