After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Are my feet made of real feet?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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