We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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