Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
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There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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