She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
