Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
