How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
