He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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