I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize