I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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