We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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