I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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