I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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