lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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