A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
