I hate all girls vehemently.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
