What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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