garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she smelled like a LAN party
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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