Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
