I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
