she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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