hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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