So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We're using joints as your birthday candles
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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