there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize