i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
