i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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