so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize