Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
