Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
