He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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