Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I smell stomach acid.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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