i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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