Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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