I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
