Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
