Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
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not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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