Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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