How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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