once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
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I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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