Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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