her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
