At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
