So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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