Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
